Killer Klowns.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
"♪" Killer Klowns
♪ P.T. Barnum said it so long ago
♪ There's one born every minute
♪ Don't you know?
♪ Some make us laugh
♪ Some make us cry
♪ These Klowns, honey, gonna make you die
♪ Everybody's running
♪ When the circus comes into their town
♪ Everybody's gunning for the likes
♪ Of the Killer Klowns.
♪???
♪ The ring master shouts "let the show begin",
♪ Send in the Klowns
♪ Let them do you in.
♪ See a rubber nose
♪ on a painted face
♪ Bringing genocide to the human race
♪ Its time to take a ride
♪ On a nightmare merry go round
♪ You'll be dead on arrival
♪ From the likes of the killer klowns
♪ From outer space.
There's cotton candy in their hands...
Little son of a bitch.
Cops.
(Police officer) This is Mooney calling.
(radio) I hear you. What's going on?
Nothing yet, Dave...
but Friday night's just started.
I'm getting started across down at the park. Check in with you later.
(Radio DJ) That was a hot tune from The Doorman...
but now we'll gonna slow it down a bit...
for all you make out artists at the "top of the world".
Give me a cold one.
Fine.
I am Jojo, the clown ice cream clown, with the bestest ice cream in town.
We'll give you the stick,
and you give it a lick that'll tickle you all the way down.
Ice cream, ice cream.
We brought it to make it easier for you, our tasty cream while you're through.
Let's take a break!
Cool off those hot lips with our tasty frozen fruity bars...
icy whiteys..
Fudgy wudgy bars...
and everyone's favourite frozen delight: The licker (liquor?) stick!
- Jeez, what the...? - Get outta here, you morons!
- Hey! Take your ice cream and get lost! - Oh yeah?
(Girl) Shut it down, and turn the speaker off.
(Girl) Now beat it, you jerk!
So you don't want any ice cream? Well, you're not gettin' any!
We were getting it before you showed up.
Those guys... What the hell are they doing here?
Great idea, Paul. "Everybody loves ice cream."
What do you mean? It was your idea. Hey. Why don't we just park here for a while?
Hey... What are you guys trying to pull here?
We... we thought we'd park here for a while.
You said we could have all the ice cream we wanted
but didn't say anything about parking.
What kind of girls you think we are?
I told you they weren't that stupid.
- We want you to takes us home right now. - (Girl) Yeah.
Take it easy... Keep your shirt on.
Don't worry, we intend to.
(Klown voice over speaker ♪1) Well, this worked out just great.
(Klown ♪2) Don't blame me. I didn't wanna come here.
(♪2) - Hey, why don't we try the drive in? (♪1) Oh, that's dumb.
Wait a minute. What's playing?
Knuckleheads.
Did you know those guys?
These guys are my best friends from school.
Whenever I wanna have a good time, I call Rich and Paul.
A night out with those types...
is a total adventure.
What am I talking about the Terenzio brothers for
I would much rather...
kissing you...
This is great.
Yeah.
Oh, check that out!
- Did you see that? - Yes, I saw that.
That was incredible.
(What the hell?!)
Did you see that little sky (thingy) zip down over there, Pooh?
It is Halley's comet and it has landed in our backyard!
There's gonna be thousands of people!
Thousands of people will be coming. They're gonna have hot dogs.
They're gonna have helicopters and airplanes...
and tacos.
This is our lucky day!
We gonna be rich, Pooh. We gonna be rich.
- Come on, let's go check it out. - Oh, C'mon. No way.
It's a waste of time. It's gotta be a thousand miles away.
Ruined our whole evening.
Don't give me that. You saw how close it was.
It landed right over the hill. That is not a thousand miles way.
Come on.
You can find it, Mr. Adventure.
Debbie, don't you want to finish the champagne?
Take it with us.
Come on.
Okay.
Pooh.
Come on.
Attention, dog. Come on.
I'll be greased and fried...
What in blue blazes is a circus doing out in these parts?
I love the circus.
Come on. Maybe we can get us some free passes.
Come on, Pooh.
I have never seen one that looked like this before.
I don't know, Pooh.
You know, there's something kind of peculiar round here.
Where is everybody?
There ain't nobody around.
Where is the damn ticket booth?
How are we supposed to get in and see the show?
Pooh?
Pooh Bear?
Where is that dog?
Somethin' funny is happenin' round here.
What in tarnation's goin' on here?
Where is my dog?
Where is my Pooh Bear?
I'll tear this thing apart with my bare hands!
This thing is wired.
Police station.
(Door bangs open. Cop) Get in there!
What's going on, Curt?
Same old shit.
I got 'em boozin' it up in the park.
We were just walking through the park on our way to the dorm. We had a bottle of wine.
It's a beautiful night. We were walking around. We didn't do nothing.
- You guys go to the college, right? - Yeah, right.
So why don't you just stay there and do your drinking on the campus?
Why do you have to come into town?
Come on... We live in this town, too.
I mean, we don't have to just stay on campus.
Yeah...
And it's scum like you that is killing this town.
Come on, Curt!
Come on. Just take it easy!
What's the matter with you, Dave?
You got a thing for these little boys?
Empty your pockets!
- We just had a little wine. What's the problem? - You're the problem, you little shit!
Just lighten up, Mooney. Just lighten up.
Back off, Dave. Open container, public intoxication, littering,
disturbing the peace, resisting arrest...
These kids are history.
Unless you wanna rewrite the laws, Mr. Police Academy.
Look, you got this problem with my training, I don't care...
but if you bring someone into this station,
I don't wanna see you beat 'em up.
Now if you're gonna fuck 'em, do it according to procedure, or I swear, Kurt...
you and that badge of yours will be history.
Tell you what's gonna be history -
These kids.
Now get them in there.
- Get in there! - (Dave) Shit.
It looks that we have to walk from here.
Let's see.
(mock Indian voice) If instinct serve chief correct...
path lie...
that way.
We must travel many moons...
Many...
many moons. Many...
(Girl) Enough already with the moons.
Lead the way, Chief Running-At-The-Mouth.
Holy shit!
(Boy)That's not a shooting star. It looks like a...
(Girl)...circus tent.
What does a circus tent all the way out here?
Pretty bad location for a show.
Something is wrong. This doesn't feel right.
Well, weren't we looking for the shooting star?
Come on, this looks neat. Let's check this out.
No.
Let's go. I've seen enough.
Come on, Deb.
I want to take a closer look. You can stay here.
Alone?
Would you be more scared if you came with me...
or if I left you here?
If you left me here. Let's go.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, okay. I'm coming.
(Boy) Come on, let's check this out.
No, Mike.
We'd better not.
Deb, You'll gonna love this. Don't be a baby.
(Deb) This is bizarre.
What kind of circus is this?
It is that new wave European circus, Cirque Fantastique."
(mock scary voice) Hurry, hurry. Step right up.
See the Circus Bizarro.
Come one, come all. Step right up, little lady.
Do not be shy. Do not be stupid.
Come see the incredible Miss 50-50...
Half man, half woman... The perfect double date.
Yes. That's my little lady.
Step right up here and see Gumbo, the toothless elephant.
Or right over here, we've got Belinda, the bulimic wonder.
Watch here binge and purge before your very eyes. (Laughs)
Mike, keep it down. Somebody'll catch us.
God, is this place great or what?
It looks as if it was decorated by Clowns'R'Us.
I don't know.
So how much further do you want to go?
Let's go till the end of the aisle, where these doors are.
Come on.
(Suspenseful music)
(buttons make funny noises)
(door whooshes) (Mike) Woah!
(threatening digital music, fanfares)
This is not a fun house.
Not a circus either.
(Lightning buzzes) (Deb shrieks)
What?
I don't believe this.
- (Mike) What is it, a nuclear plant? - (Deb) No.
- A missile silo? - No.
- A military base? - No! (Shrieks again)
- (Deb) The shooting star! - What are you talking about?
The shooting star we went to look for, we are in it.
(No audible noise, suspenseful music)
What was that?
I don't know...
(Slow footsteps approaching)
but it's coming this way.
Here. Come on.
( All Mike) Look at this place.
It smells like candy.
You know, I do not know what we saw out there before, but...
this looks like a cotton candy factory.
Yeah!
This must be where they hang them to dry before they ship the stuff out.
(Deb) No, it is not.
I've never seen anything like this before, have you?
No.
Well that's because nobody has.
I do not believe in UFOs...
but if they do exist, then we are trapped in one right now.
Will you just calm down? There's gotta be a logical explanation for this.
This isn't what you think it is.
Nobody stores cotton candy like this.
What are you talking about? (banging in background) Of course it is.
Look.
(Deb shrieking)
(suspenseful music) (electronic dripping noises)
(levers make gargling and weird noises) (machinery revving)
Joe Lombardo!
(loud clanking) (faster music)
This way!
(music gets even faster)
(gun or Klown makes weird noise)
(popcorn makes whirring noises)
- (Mike) Are you OK? - (Deb) I think so.
Come on.
(Deb) Popcorn? Why Popcorn?
Because they're clowns, that's why.
(menacing circus music) (Klowns talking in high-pitched voices)
(music changes to slow)
(suddenly "dog" starts barking) (triumphant fanfares)
(constantly barking)
Mike, get me of here!
(sniffing)
(howling)
Hurry, they're coming! (engine starts)
(Big thump, hissing)
(Tires squealing)
(Klown growling, impact noise) (Deb screaming)
(Klown growling, Deb screaming)
(Deb) We have to tell the police.
(Mike) Oh yeah, we'll go right into the station and tell them there's a bunch of clowns...
running around in the hills and killing you with cotton candy?
I have a friend there. I know he'll believe us.
I do not know, Deb. I wouldn't even believe us.
Crescent Cove - 5 miles
(electronic guitar music)
Come brother.
(80ies synth-pop)
(Tires screeching)
What the hell?
(Tires, car horn)
(rattling, glass shattering)
Dave! Oh my God! Something horrible has happened!
- Somebody has been killed! - Wait a second, Debbie. What happened?
You've gotta help us! We've gotta do something! 2 people dead!
Who, Debbie, who's dead?
- Joe Lombardo. He's dead. - And some old man, too.
Wait a second, guys. Are you sure about this?
Yes, you idiot! They were hanging there wrapped up in these cotton candy things...
these... cocoons.
- Cocoons? - Yes, cocoons.
- (Deb) You know, cocoons. - Alright everybody, calm down.
Look Debbie, come inside and explain this to me.
I'd like to help you, but before I can I got to understand what's going on here myself.
Drugstore.
(Girl approaching) I really need this new make-up.
- Okay, I'll buy some over there at the drugstore. - (Girl ♪2) Good.
(Girl ♪1) Okay? And then we'll go on.
Oh, look.
(whispers) Cute.
(Klown growls, unintelligible)
Alright, sit down.
Let's start from the beginning.
Okay. We were at The Top of the World...
and then we saw that shooting star and we decided to go look for it.
But instead of finding the shooting star, we saw this circus tent.
And that's when we went inside and that is where we saw those people...
in those pink cotton candy cocoons.
(Deb) Dave, it was not a circus tent. It was something else.
- What? What? - (Mike) It was a spaceship,
and there were these things, these-these killer clowns...
and then they shot popcorn at us. We barely escaped.
Killer clowns from outer space?
Holy shit.
Dave, we are telling you the truth. You gotta believe us.
Let me tell you something, honey.
I was just over there. There's nothing goin' on.
Excuse me please, but we are talking to Dave.
Now just hold on a second, Mooney. They say that some people are dead. Let's hear them out.
Alright, Dave...
Okay.
Clowns, cotton candy...
flying popcorn.
Go ahead. Let us make fools out of the police department.
I told you I was just over there!
Are you gonna believe me or this little this little tramp?
Come on, Mooney!
I'm handling this, alright?
Alright, Debbie, who is your friend?
(Deb) Mike. We go to school together.
You two were On Top of the World together?
Yeah.
I know you, you little fart.
You hang out with the Terenzi brothers.
Clowns? I get it.
Another one of their stupid stunts
to sell ice cream from that goddamn truck that hoodlums run around in.
Well, now I really believe this.
You better go now, Dave,
before the clowns take over, huh?
And when you get back from savin' the world,
I want a full written report so I can give it to the chief when he comes back on Monday morning.
(laughs sarcastically)
Look, everything happened just the way we said.
We are telling you the truth!
Alright, alright. You two come with me.
- (Mooney laughing) - (Dave) Come on.
(ironically) Hurry up, Dave. Don't let 'em get away...
Go ahead, Dave...
Make a dummy out of yourself!
But you're not making a dummy out of me.
(Dave) You, in the back.
(Merry puppet theatre tune)
(no audible dialogue) (muted squeaking noises)
(electronic warp sound)
(laughing loudly)
(laughing ceases)
(Boy) Uh... oh! (Crashing noise)
(electronic whirring) (Boy screaming))
(diabolical laughter)
(Klown talk, unintelligible)
Uh... excuse me...
(Shopkeeper) Oh, my...
How can I help you?
(unintelligible)
(crashing noise) (Shopkeeper) Oh no!
(clanking)
(crash, bang)
(Dave) Alright, I'm going up there and check this out.
First I'm taking you home.
No way. I'm going up there with you. You can't tell me what to do.
Debbie, just listen to me, will you?
I don't have to listen to you.
(Deb) You're not my boyfriend any more, alright?
(Dave) That's true. I'm not your boyfriend any more.
That doesn't change the way I feel for you, Debbie.
(Deb) Dave, please.
Don't do this to me.
Alright Debbie, you got a choice.
You either go home or I take you back to the station and lock you up for safety.
- (Dave) How's that? - (Deb sighs)
(doorbell)
(distorted) Pizza.
(rock music) (Girl) Oh...
- (Girl) Pizza. - (Klown) Uh-huh.
(Klown laughing)
(Boo!)
(electronic whirring) (maniacal laughter)
- (Woman) Oh? - (Klown mumbling)
(Woman) For me?
Aww Jim, is this from you?
(huh?)
(growls)
(engine stops)
Look, Debbie...
May I please speak to Mike outside?
Right. Sure.
Thank you.
- Your old boyfriend? This is great. - You come here?
Probably taking me on top of the hill and shoot me.
Well, don't worry about Dave.
It's those clowns who gotta worry about.
Listen, as soon as you guys leave here, I'm gonna follow you up there.
You're gonna follow us up there? Debbie, I don't even wanna go up there!
Listen, you stay inside the house and keep the door locked.
I'll be back in a little bit and Chipper.
Okay?
You better.
It's good timing.
(tires screeching)
(cheesy shop music) (banging and crashing)
(loud sneezing)
Wait a minute.
Where is it?
- Yeah, that's what I'd like to know. - It was right there where that hole is.
(Dave) So you're saying the hole is where the tent was?
The tent made that hole?
Yes! It was there. Look, we saw it. That's a fact.
I tell you what the facts are, mister!
You said people are being killed. Now, where are the bodies?
I don't know! I saw Joe Lombardo dead. I can only tell you what I think I saw.
Oh, so now you just think you saw?
No, I know what I saw! I just can't prove it. My proof is gone.
Yeah right. Turn around.
(painful)
(Dave) Mooney was right, got nothing better to do but causing problems.
- You'll not gonna get away with it this time. - Away with what? Debbie saw it too.
Yes, she did, didn't she?
- Ow! - Come on.
(load roaring)
Eddie, is that a new bike you got? (Girl)- What's happened, Spike?
( big engine revving)
(Klown humming along)
(derisive laughter)
Wooh!
Big Bad Jojo coming' into town. (laughing)
- Watch this, babe. - Is that bike too big for you?
Patty!
(all laughing)
- Mean bike you got there. - (bikers) Yeah.
Can I take a ride?
Pal?
- (Klown refuses) - (bikers) Aww, you can't take a ride...
Can I beep the horn?
Oh, thank you! (Mock laughter)
(roaring laughter) (crashing sound)
He should've let the man ride his bike. (laughter)
(horn tooting)
I'm sorry. (All laughing)
I seem to have broken your bike.
(Klown makes sad noises)
(whoosh)
Where did he go? (Whoosh)
(Klown) Badaboo. Badaboo!
(all laughing)
(Klown laughing maliciously)
(biker) What are you gonna do, knock my block off?
(snapping noise) (Girls screaming)
Damn!
Come on, let's get out of here! (engines starting)
- (biker) Come on, guys! - (biker girl) Get out of here!
(distorted laughter)
(low growl)
Here is more ketchup for your French fries.
No here is more ketchup. I want you to sit still and eat your hamburger.
You know, this isn't as much fun as it used to be.
(laughs) It is if you're the winners.
(spherical music) (no audible dialogue)
(music becomes menacing)
(Mother) Back here, young lady.
You're not going anywhere 'till you've finished your food.
(disappointed growl)
What's going on?
(thrilling music)
Alright, get out.
Turn around.
What are you doing, man?
You're not gonna hit me, are you?
Just turn around, pal. Alright.
- Look, I'm sorry about Debbie, I didn't know... - Just drop it, Mike!
Check this out.
That's the stuff!
That's the stuff I told you about that was wrapped all around Lombardo.
- Where did you get that? - In that Jeep over there.
That's McReed's Jeep.
- Who's McReed? - Bob McReed.
He was up here tonight with me and Debbie.
Those are his glasses.
They got him. He's dead.
(chuckles)
(Phone ringing)
Crescent Cove Police Station, Mooney speaking.
I want to report an altercation.
Wait a minute. Calm down, I can't understand you.
(Women on phone) Clowns! What?
Are at my front door and destroying my property!
Clowns, huh, and now they're at your front door.
Are at my front door right now!
- Wait. Who is this? - Could you just come over here?
Stupid kids and their pranks...
(annoyed sigh)
Rich little bastards.
They shoot 'em all.
Daddy sends them to fancy schools...
so the police department can babysit them. Pricks.
(phone ringing)
Police Station. Mooney speaking. Yup.
Hello, Curt?
I think I have a bit of a problem here.
(Phone ringing) Wait a moment.
This is not you too, Mr. Myers.
Police Station. Mooney here. What?
(Man) - took my wife... The clowns... They took your wife away in a balloon?
Well, you don't need the police. You need a psychiatrist!
Mr. Myers?
(shop music through the phone)
(Yelling on the phone) (Line goes dead)
The Terenzi brothers and the whole town are in on this?
Well, to hell with 'em all.
If you want to play games...
you're messing with the wrong guy.
(roaring engine) (fast synthi-rock music)
(roaring, then laughter)
Jesus! No!
Oh no! Come on, Joe, get going!
(crash, tires squealing)
God!
(growling)
(tires screeching)
Woaaaah! (Crash, breaking glass)
(banging, explosion)
(fire burning)
(mean laughter)
(water running)
(rubbery noises)
(pop corns twitter)
(menacing music)
(man grunts)
(loud twitter)
(continues)
- (Twitter) - Aahh!
(Screaming continues)
I'll call the state police up in Marlborough. They got a lab.
Maybe somebody up there can tell us what this stuff this.
It is not cotton candy, that's for sure.
Yes. Finally. That's what I've been telling you.
Look, I'm sorry I've been a little tough on you back there.
It's been a hard night.
Having Debbie involved just makes it a lot more difficult.
What can I say? I didn't know...
It has nothing to do with you, really. It's me.
Obviously she goes for laughs, not stability.
(bus approaching)
(Sunshine charters and tours)
(Klown) Yoo-hoo.
(circus music)
(audience) Ah! Oh!
Boo!
Oh my God.
(audience) That's funny.
(low growl)
(laughing)
(elephant noise)
(mean laughter)
(pleasingly surprised) Oh! Ah!
("Stars and Stripes forever")
Just drop me off here. I'll take the bus home.
No way. You are the one who has seen these things.
Look! A clown! Right there!
(oriental tune)
There he is, I told you. You get out there and shoot him?
- Get him, Dave! - Mike, just hang on.
Calm down. Let me check this out.
(oriental tune continues) (audience humming along)
(Klown laughing)
(music changes)
(audience gasps)
(gulp) (screams)
- (Mike) Holy shit! - I don't believe it.
(Screaming and Moaning from inside the shadow)
- Dave, run him down! - Mike, let go! Mike!
(Maniacal laughter)
(crash)588.
What are you doing buddy?
Sorry. I freaked out a little bit.
Where is he?
I don't know.
I don't see him anywhere.
He's gone.
He went straight up.
I've seen enough.
One Baker five. Curt, do you read me? Over.
One Baker five. This is Mooney speaking.
I was a little worried about you.
I thought the big bad clowns got a hold of you. Over.
Mooney, I want you to listen to me and don't say anything.
I want you to call the state police and get help.
There are clowns and they are killing people. Over.
Okay, let me get this straight.
You say there are clowns and you've seen them.
Okay, Dave, that's it. Screw you and your college friends.
I've had enough from you and from everybody else.
I know what you guys are trying to do: Break me down, drive me out of the force.
Well, it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than a lame prank like this...
to get Curtis Mooney to throw in his badge.
So fuck you! Over.
- (Mike) Aww shit! - Mooney, this is an emergency. Mooney!
He cut me off. That son of a bitch cut me off!
I gotta-I gotta get back to the station.
I don't know what I gotta say, but I have to get through to state police.
(women screaming)
- Get the truck! - And the girls?
Forget about the girls. They eat too much.
- It is our ice cream! - So what? The truck's getting away!
Those aren't killer clowns, those are the Terenzi brothers.
The Terenzi brothers?
Get back to the station, radio for help. I'll catch up with my friends and warn them.
Alright, tell everyone to stay indoors and don't do anything stupid.
You too.
(crash)
- You idiot! - Oh, shit.
- Don't yell at me. You were driving. - So now it's my fault?
- This whole ice cream thing was your idea. - My idea? You said we would have girls this way.
No I didn't. You did.
- You did. - You did.
Hey Rich! Paul!
Oh man, am I glad to see you guys.
Mike, How're you doin'? You want some ice cream? We got...
No man, listen. Something horrible's happened. I need your help.
- What are you talking about? - What's wrong?
There is no time to explain. There's clowns goin' around killing people.
(both) Uh-huh.
Tonight, Debbie and I were up on The Top of the World...
and we found this spaceship and we saw these...
clowns and they were carrying these... cotton candy cocoons...
and they were shooting these.. These... popcorn guns.
There is a circus tent-spaceship, right?
But it's not there any more but we were there and we saw the whole thing.
And they say we're crazy. So?
Oh come on, you guys. I am not foolin' around!
Mike, what do you want us to do? We have ice cream to sell tonight.
Paul, this is more important than selling ice cream.
There's clowns goin' around killing people. We're all in danger.
Well, we have not sold much ice cream tonight.
- We haven't sold any. - Come on, guys, will you help me?
At least take me over to Debbie, okay? I think she is in danger.
Does she have any roommates?
Yes, she's got two. She's got two beautiful roommates.
With big boobs.
Do they like ice cream?
They love it.
What are we waiting for? (giggling)
(Mike) Come on!
Let me through. Let's get away.
(both phones ringing)
Freak yourself.
You ain't gonna get the best of me.
(all phones continue ringing)
I made it through Korea, I can make it through this bullshit. (Chuckles)
(phones continue ringing)
(door opens) (funny music)
(laughing) Woop-dee-goddamn-dee-doo!
What do we have here?
Well son, I think you made a big mistake.
You're in Mooney territory now.
For me?
I ought to shoot you right now, you red nosed freak.
So you wanna play games, eh?
(Mooney chuckling)
Turn around!
Alright...
I am supposed to read you your rights...
but you're in Mooney's jail...
and you ain't got no rights.
Alright, buster.
(sharp metallic click) God.
(funny music)
(cuffs jingling) (Mooney growls)
(prisoner ♪1)Hey Officer Mooney, C'mon, let us outta here!
- (♪2) Are we gonna be here all night or what? - (♪1) Yeah, we want our phone call.
- (♪2) Right. I wanna call my... - (Mooney) Shut up!
Get your hands up.
Get in there.
(whack) (Klown grunts)
(Klown growls)
(door bangs shut) (Klown gnarls)
I don't know who you are...
but before this night's over...
you're gonna be begging for mercy.
(whoosh and snap) (iron bars make bell sound)
What are you in for?
(faint high-pitched noises from the basket)
(Siren blaring, then shuts down)
(phone ringing) Mooney!
Police Department. Hello?
(faint noises on the phone) (sounds like video game)
(suspenseful music)
(door bangs open) (no other sound)
Mooney? Mooney, you back here?
(eerie silence) (ominous music)
(door creaking)
(spherical music)
God.
(Whoosh!)
(exhales)
(Mooney's neck creaks faintly)
(mumbling in Mooney's voice) Hey Dave...
Who was the girl who I saw you with last night?
Do not worry, Dave.
All we wanna do is kill you.
(slurping sound)
(Klown makes belching noise)
(gunshot)
(Klown growls)
(blam!)
(gunshot) (sound of breaking glass)
(growls)
(electronic whirring sound)
(accelerating) (screaming)
(Boom!)
(Radio)V.C.P.D., this is Marlborough state police.
Dave, Curt, are you there? Over.
Jack, we need your assistance. The town's gotten crazy.
People are getting killed. Over.
What's all these reports about circus clowns?
These clowns aren't people.
They are some kind of creature, things from another planet.
Look Jack, they're killing people. Officer Mooney is dead.
I know. I saw. He was killed by one of these things.
Could you send all available units immediately please? Over.
(static noise, no answer)
Come on, Jack!
(crackling)
Okay, calm down buddy. Help is on the way.
(sighs heavily)
Debbie.
(speaker)Calling all the clowns, calling all the clowns. This is Jojo.
Are there any space clowns out there? (laughing)
(Mike) Guys, could you stop fooling around?
Look, Mike, come on.
Cocoons, popcorn guns, monster shadows... woo-hoo.
- What do you think we are? - We're not as stupid as we look.
This isn't the first wild thing you've tried to pull over on us.
- Look, you remember Hidden Lake? - Uh-huh.
Oh C'mon, forget Hidden Lake. This has nothing to do with Hidden Lake.
We would have to be total morons to believe this clown invasion crap.
If there are killer clowns runnin' around here,
then I'm Porky Pig.
(tires screeching)
(dramatic synthi music)
Loading zone
(whirring shot sound)
We gotta get the hell outta here!
(twittering noises)
(gnarling, snapping)
(dissonant music)
Eww!
(screams)
(roars, hisses) (Deb screams)
(screams)
(Deb moaning)
(knock on door)
- (Mike) Debbie, It's Mike. Open up. - Mike?
(Debb screams)
(with Mike's voice) Debbie... Debbie...
(door bangs shut) (Debbie moans, cries)
(jackhammer against the door) (screams)
(shrieks)
(whimpers)
(Debbie yelps) (Klown laughs)
(Debbie screams)
(laughing)
(moaning, shrieking)
(electronic warp sound)
(Mike) Okay, see this white house right over here?
Take a right... I mean, left. Left.
- (Rich) Left? - (Mike) Right.
- (Rich) Right. - (Mike) No, left!
(solemn ice cream song)
(silence)
(Mike) The house's right up..uh...
Shit. What is that?
Wow... Look at that.
(muffled) Mike!
(screeching tires) (Deb) Woah!
(disharmonious fast music)
Come on! We can't lose her! They got Debbie!
Hey, Mike!
(siren and tires squealing)
(hectic chase music) (police siren approaching)
C'mon Rich, we're losing it. Can't you go a little bit faster?
Come on, Mike, what do you want? This is an ice cream truck.
Hey Rich, the cops! Stop the truck!
Woah... (tires screeching)
(bang)
Shit, Rich, now you did it.
I did it?! What do you mean? You told me to stop.
Didn't I tell you to pull over?
No you didn't. You said "stop", so I stopped.
Well, I meant "pull over".
If you meant "pull over" you should've said "pull over".
(Rich) Why don't you say what you mean next time?
(Paul) Come on, let's see what happened.
Dave, are you OK?
God. Oh fuck...
What the hell are you guys doing?
They got Debbie.
(Dave) Get in the truck now.
Gee, officer, I am really sorry. I was feelin' a little queasy...
You might wanna tell me where they're headed.
They went that way, but we're lost. I don't know where they went.
(Dave) I do. If you were a clown, where would you hide?
(Mike) The amusement park!
- (Paul) Great! - (Rich) Alright!
(small two-stroke engine puttering)
The park is closed. I'll have to ask you to leave.
(synthi rock music)
(low growl)
(unintelligible Klown talk)
(music descending, then stopping)
What are you gonna do with these pies, boys?
(swoosh) (splatter)
(music continues)
(happy mumbling)
(approving mumble)
(ice cream van music approaching)
(Dave) Hey! Hey hey hey hey!
Everybody stick together.
She's gone.
(Rich) Wow...
(Rich) Hey you guys, this is weird.
- Look at this stuff. - Looks like a wad of melted ice cream.
- (Dave) Yes, but it's not. - Oh shit.
(Dave) Yeah.
Come on.
(menacing music, then fading)
- Hey. - Sorry
Mike, you take this. Follow me.
Alright, you guys, no fooling around. Stick together, okay?
(Rick) What the hell is in here?
(mellow music)
Ooo-hoo. Scary.
- (Mike) Dave, did you call for help? - Yes, it's on its way.
You told them this is an invasion?
I told them, but I don't even believe it myself.
(Dave) Where did they come from? Why are they here? Why clowns?
They are not clowns.
(Mike) They are some kind of animals from another world that look like clowns.
Shit, Dave.
Dave, maybe from the ancient astronauts who came to earth centuries ago...
and our idea of clowns just comes from them.
How come they are not funny?
Maybe they're from a dying planet.
Maybe their sun pooped up and they need a new place to live.
Maybe they need us for experiments, for dissection and study.
That means they're intelligent.
(Dave) So why don't they communicate with us?
I mean, talk to us instead of killing us?
Maybe they're just cruisin' through the galaxy and stopped here for a bite to eat.
Yeah. Look, everybody, let's just hold off from the talking, okay?
Let's not give ourselves away.
(Mike) What are we gonna do when we find them?
Can we kill them?
(Dave) Yeah. You shoot them in the nose.
(Paul) Hey, watch this.
(Rich) Cool.
(faint distorted laughter)
(horn tooting) Weeew!
- (Dave) What happened? - (Mike) What did you do?
(Paul) I didn't do anything...
Well, don't touch anything, okay? This place is probably booby-trapped.
Alright. Now look you guys, stay together. I don't wanna run around and find you too.
(Rich) No problem. We can handle it.
Yeah...
(swoosh) Woah!
(Dave) Alright, let's go.
Where did they go? Come on, Rich, Paul.
Don't worry about the Terenzi brothers. They do this all the time.
Those guys are like cats. They always land on their feet.
(groaning and grunting)
(giggling) Weew...
(cheesy romantic music)
Are you Debbie's roommates?
(Mike) Wait a second.
I recognize this place.
This is the tent where Debbie and I were in. Come on!
(thrilling music)
Go Mike.
Okay, this is where we were before.
(Dave) Wow, this is incredible.
(Mike) Looks like they got the whole town.
(Dave) We got to find her. What kind of balloon was she in?
Uh... yellow.
(Dave) Alright.
- Do you see anything, Mike? - I don't.
Impossible, Mike.
(elevator door opens)
(low growl)
(Dave) Shh. Quiet. Move back.
(distant thunder)
(Klown) Ah...
(sniffing)
(slurping)
(huge belch)
Paul was right, man. They are hungry. They're gonna eat everybody!
Calm down! Just calm down, alright?
We gotta find Debbie before it's too late. Alright.
Hey. That's the one. The yellow balloon. Is she in there?
- Yes, she's in there! - Debbie!
- She's alive. - Thank God.
- How the we get her out of here? - I don't know.
- Careful, Mike. - Damnit!
Debbie? Honey? Hang on a second, Mike. Damn!
- Woah! What are you doing? - Stand back, Mike.
- You can't shoot. You could kill her. - Let's just back off, alright?
Now, just get ready to run.
(gunshot) (Debbie groans)
(Mike) Are you alright?
(coughing)
- (Dave) Are you OK? - Oh yeah.
(Deb) I couldn't breathe.
Let's get up. Mike, give me a hand.
- Oh God. - We better get the hell out of here.
Come on, Debbie. Come on.
Come on.
(Dave) Wait a second guys. We can't leave.
There might be other people still alive in these balloons.
(snarling) (circus music)
(Mike) Come on, it's too late!
(Deb) Dave!
(growling)
(banging at the door)
(Klowns howling) Woohoo!
Graagh!
Shoot 'em!
(gunshot)
(explosion)
- Let's go. Come on. - Coming...
(Klowns growl)
(hectic music)
- (Mike) What now? - (Dave)Everybody, down!
- (Mike) We don't know what's down there. - (Dave) Come on, Mike.
(Deb) Nobody is gonna put me in a balloon again.
Come on, Mike. Get a move on!
(growling)
(gunshot) (whirring noise)
Why did you guys stop here?
(huge growling, snapping)
- (Dave) Good reason. - (Mike) Okay, which way do we go?
- (Dave) That doesn't really matter. - (Deb) Let's go down here.
Alright, come on.
(crazy laughter)
Wee!
- Come on, let's try it over here. - (Deb) No!
(laughter)
Fuck... (Debbie moans)
Come on.
Careful.
(balloons squeak)
(Klowns snarling and twittering)
Come on.
(Mike) Shit! Another door!
(Deb) I can't take this any more!
(growling)
Come on, open the door!
- Another door! - Come on, Mike!
Another door!
(growling)
- Another door! - Hurry!
Debbie, come on!
(Shotgun clicks empty)
Dave, come on!
(Dave) Close the door, Mike!
- Come on. - Look. Here!
Come on... Oh God. (everybody panting)
(Dave) We got it.
(Deb) Look at this place. Where do we go now?
(Dave) Alright, let's go.
(Debbie screaming)
(menacing music) (Klowns growling)
(twittering, snarling)
(Deb) Oh...
(Dave) Everyone, up on top. Come on, let's move!
Come on!
(Deb) Hurry!
(Deb whimpering) (Klowns growling)
(Deb moaning) Eww!
(huge crash)
(ice cream van music pitched up)
Rich, Paul!
(Paul over speaker) Stop! Leave them the hell alone!
Do as I say OR ELSE! Uh...
Gimme the mic!
(speaker)I am the great and powerful Jojo!
I command you to stop.
Do not hurt them. Let them go.
You will obey me. Let them go.
(Dave) That's our chance...
(Rich and Paul babbling over speaker)
(Mike) Rich! Paul! Boy, am I glad to see you guys!
Come on, let's go! Get in the truck! Let's go!
- Come on, Mike. - Come on, Debbie.
- Come on, Rich... - I'm trying!
- Turn it the right way. - I am!
Come on, Rich!
(unintelligible Klown voice from outside)
(dramatic music)
(faint chain pulley jingling)
(Deb) Dave...
What the hell is that?
(Klown groaning) (organ music)
(HUGE growl)
I don't wanna play here any more. Can we go home now?
(Roar)
Let's go. Let's get out of here.
Everyone out of the truck! Come on!
We can't! It's rented!
(engine starter)
(horn hooting)
(growl)
(crash) No!
(Rich and Paul) Wooaaaaaahhh!
(explosion)
- Rich! Paul! - Mike, Mike! It's too late buddy.
(roar)
(Dave) Look, there is a way out now. Mike, take Debbie and get her out of here.
- (Dave) I'll draw attention. - (Deb) No! Dave, don't! We can all escape!
We can't, Debbie.
- (Deb) Stop him! - (Mike) Dave, let's get out of here!
- (Mike) What are you doing? - (Dave) Go now, Mike!
(roar)
(Deb)Dave! (Gunshot)
(Dave) Come on, guys, move! Run for help!
(roar)
Over here! (Shot)
(swoosh)
(shot)
(hiss)
(hectic organ music)
Come on, you damn clown.
Come on, you!
(shot) (empty clip clicks)
(roar)
Aaargh!
Come on!
They are taking off!
(police sirens)
(groans)
(growl)
(bang) (howl)
(whirring)
(fireworks cracking)
(whistling noise approaching)
(bang)
(policemen load and lever their guns)
(coughs)
Dave!
(Mike) You made it!
You got it, man.
Wow! What a ride! Jee-haw!
That's the last time we let you drive.
(Mike) You're alive!
Yeah.
But I saw you guys get blown up in the ice cream truck.
Oh, that. We hid in the freezer with the ice cream.
- Does anyone want a dipsicle? - You and your ice cream.
- What? - How are we gonna pay for the truck?
Don't blame me. It was your idea.
No, it wasn't. You were the one who said we could get girls.
You said we could.
Hey listen, if it wasn't for me, you'd be a dead French frie.
Yes, you would be a dead pasta.
(giggling)
Do you think it's over?
Yeah, sure.
(splatter) Eww!
(music "Killer Klowns")
♪ P. T. Barnum said it so long ago
♪ there's one born every minute
♪ don't you know
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ Some make us laugh
♪ some make us cry
♪ these Klowns, honey, gonna make you die
♪ Everybody's running
♪ when the circus comes into their town
♪ Everybodys gunning for the likes of the
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ From outer space
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ From outer space
♪???
♪ The ring master shouts "let the show begin"
♪ Send in the Klowns,
♪ let them do you in
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ See a rubber nose on a painted face
♪ bringing genocide to the human race
♪ It's time to take a ride
♪ on a nightmare merry go round
♪ You'll be dead on arrival
♪ from the likes of the Killer Klowns
♪ from outer space
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ from outer space
♪ There's cotton candy in their hands
♪ says the polka dotted man
♪ with a stalk of jacaranda
♪ They're all diabolical bozos
♪???
♪ All look around
♪ What do you see?
♪ Tell me what's become of humanity
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ From California's shore to New York Times Square
♪ Barnum and Bailey everywhere
♪ If you've ever wondered why the population going down
♪ Blame it on the plunder
♪ if the likes of the Killer Klowns
♪ from outer space
♪ Killer Klowns
♪ from outer space
♪ Killer Klowns